gig in September 2000
------------------------------

I have a gig this Friday at Tumulty’s pub in New
Brunswick.

     Friday, September 22
     9:30-12:00
     Tumulty's Pub
     361 George St
     New Brunswick, NJ  08901
     (732) 545-6205


If you cannot attend please respond with either one of
the excuses below, or a similar excuse of your own.

(The following is an attempt to amuse and not an
attempt to inflict guilt.)

Commonly heard reasons for not coming to a David W.
Jacobsen concert.  (Oddly enough, many of these are
also heard when David W. Jacobsen asks for a date.)

Gee Dave, I’d love to go but:

, my pet rock died and I have to go to its funeral.

, my dead grandmother died again.

, I have a subsequent engagement.

, I have to spend some quality time with my goldfish.

, I have to feed my llama.

, my religious cult predicts the evening of your
performance will be the end of the world and I must go
with them to sacrifice a rhino.

, I have to wash my wig.

, I have to be in work early the morning after the
morning after the evening of your 7pm performance.

, I’m going to swim in the Hudson River.

, I’m running naked through the streets of Camden, NJ
with $100 bills taped to my legs.

, I’m singing “God Save the Queen” in a pub called
Paddy O’Reilly’s located somewhere in the Catholic
section of Belfast.

, I’m hanging out in Iran with an “I Love Salmon
Rushdie” t-shirt.

, I’m hanging out anywhere with an “I Love Fabio”
t-shirt.

, I am going to stay in to watch a Pauly Shore movie
marathon on USA up all night.