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"David W. Jacobsen for California Governor."
Politicians always claim that they will do great things for their constituents and they make promises they can't deliver. Well, David W. Jacobsen (davidwj.com) is running a different campaign for governor of California. Instead of promising to make the California he loves a better place, David W. Jacobsen readily admits that he doesn't really like California. "I'd rather live in New York than LA or San Francisco any day," says Jacobsen, a New Yorker who can't even imagine leaving the East Coast.
Jacobsen admits that he doesn't really know California that well, having only been there twice. However, "I once watched about 15 minutes of Bay Watch, so I'm familiar with the culture," he says. Speculating on the California electorate Jacobsen says, "these people elected Reagan and it looks like they will elect Schwarzenegger. I mean, how exactly is Schwarzenegger any more qualified to be governor than Gary Coleman? So who says they won't vote for me?"
Jacobsen has chosen to run an unconventional campaign with a motto that doesn't promise to do better than the current administration. "David W. Jacobsen for governor: Come on, let's see just how bad things can get." Jacobsen explains his motto thus, "All the other candidates seem to think being governor is an easy gig, and that they'll actually do a better job with the budget than Gray Davis. However, I understand that there are no simple answers to complex questions, so instead of dodging questions like the other candidates, I simply admit that I won't be able to do any better. Besides, I don't like California anyway. Why don't all you people move to New York… no wait, there's no room here for the millions of people who live in California… and now that I think of it, I don't really like you people anyway so I don't want you living here… hey what was the question again?"
Asked about the issues, Jacobsen responded "well you know I used to see a shrink back in high school, but I stopped going a long time ago." When informed that the question was about the issues facing California and not his personal issues, he said, "Oh come on, no one is asking Schwarzenegger those kinds of questions, so I shouldn't have to answer them either... although honestly, I haven't been following the Schwarzenegger campaign that closely, because I heard the last Terminator movie was kind of lame."
Jacobsen admits that his campaign has some severe obstacles, among them the fact that he isn't on the ballot and that he doesn't live in California. However, Jacobsen is undeterred, "People can probably write me in or something, and If I'm elected I'd come in from time to time. I mean, yeah, I don't really like California that much, but if I'm governor, I understand that I should come out for a few days every now and then. Besides I do have a few friends in LA."
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